I find myself without any inspiration two weeks in a row, so I am going
to write about contrasts (which is today’s prompt at writing101),
but I am not going to write is as a dialogue. In fact I am
just going to let my thoughts flow.
A few weeks ago I was in an awful place, depressed, sad and empty. And that state of mind has been with me half a year. People say that the saddest thing is when someone gets used to something unpleasant and that is exactly what I did. I accepted that I cannot feel happiness and that every day I go through is a struggle because I don’t want to be here. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. But last week something changed. I have no idea what but I have been feeling better and happy for more than a week now which I consider weird. You see, now I am scared that this is just a calm before a storm, that something bigger, worse is waiting for me. I am actually scared of being happy now, and I am used to sadness.
Is not that I am just happy, my friends have been noticing my cheerfulness and how actually happy I look. I guess right now I just have to get used to being happy and forget about pain, because it is inevitable.
SO GOOD BYE FOR NOW, MY FRIENDS (if anyone is even reading)