Sometimes we get bored off all those beautiful moments we have in our life often, but this sunset could not be ignored by anyone.
(UNEDITED PHOTOS, 30.08.2017.)
It has been 2 months since my last post, I don’t think it has ever been that long without a post since I started this blog and I just got a message that today is the 3rd anniversary of me creating it. Well, I really do have some explaining to do but I am not going to go into great details.
I feel like no matter how long have you been with me or with my blog I owe an explanation, even though I do not really think anyone really cares. Past 2 months have really been full with so much stress and loosing and finding my spirit on and on. I cannot explain things without context and I cannot give context because it is about my personal life (a bit too personal). Now let’s talk about stuff I can talk about.
First stressor I have encountered was me trying to enroll into a college. It really was a rocky road, but now when I look back at it there was no place for panicking or even being stressed about but stress is in my blood. Since I decided to stay in Croatia to continue my education I had no idea what to go for because I thought there was no way I could do what I wanted here. But as it turns out I can, and even though I wasn’t really happy with the college I got in at first now I know it is actually just the thing I wanted for as long as I can remember. This fall I am an official student of anthropology and Italian studies.
Other news, my work is both stressful and stress relieving in a way. I also kind of lost an important person in my life, maybe lost isn’t a good description of the situation but will go with it. The good thing is that I am trying to get out of it all stronger. I am learning to put myself first or at least on a bit more important place than I am now. I am hopelessly trying to save myself and it might look like I am running away from everything I am dealing with the devil in me the best way I know and I can. This whole situation left me more anxious than ever and I am having, again, at least one panic attack a week and my head is so messed up that I cannot even decide what to eat and especially write something worth reading.
That is all I have to say right now. I have no idea when the next post will be but I will think about doing some photography posts to start up again. Goodbye, I’ll hopefully see you in my next post!
This is quite literally a journey thourgh my mind, it’s not a very safe place so consider yourself warned!
2nd of July
I don’t know how but it always seem like everything bad is my fault.
4th of July
It makes me so angry that I ignore my intuition and instinct. It’s like I know I am going to be hurt so badly, but still do it. Am I a masochist?
6th of July
I am one of those people who cry when they get angry and that is so frustrating because I look like a fool. I could be yelling at you about how mad I am and cry simultaneously. And after I’m done I usually start to sob even more. It’s so crazy. Also I read on Tumblr that these kinds of people are the most dangerous so I’m also afraid of myself. INSANE!
9th of July
I hate summer. I know what you think, oh the heat, bikinis, depilation etc. It’s not even that. Summer is the season were I always break all of my promises to myself. And that is connected to me doubting myself more and thinking I am worthless. SO I PRETTY MUCH SPEND MY SUMMER PARTYING! (that’s pure sarcasm if you didn’t catch it)
11th of July
Oh God, I just realized a few days ago that I am a total control freak and when I told that to one of my friends she was like I know. How did I miss this? I mean, I have been considering myself a perfectionist for a long time, but a control freak? That is totally new to me!
14th of July
I hate that someone who is a pretty bad person and acts like they are best at everything and like he/she is better than anyone, thinks I am the same way just because they don’t like me or the fact that I actually stand up against them when everyone else is too afraid.
17th of July
Summer, tanning and beaches are overrated.
I am constantly afraid that my depression is going to come back as soon as this summer finishes.
19th of July
I love when I notice how much I have grown as a person and how has my style changed within these few years.
21st of July
It is so great when you finally admit something that you have been repressing for years to yourself even though you might aren’t ready to tell everyone. It is so great to feel comfortable within yourself, more than I could ever begin to express!
23rd of July
It’s amazing how one thing or a person can make you day better or worse.
25th of July
How is it possible for me to leave everything until the last moment and then still do everything on time?
29th of July
I can’t believe how much I feel different from what I felt half a year ago. It’s like I’m a totally different person. And it’s not only that, I feel more at peace with my self and my mind setting so that’s good but it seems that good presents a weird feature in my life.
How is it possible that I am still clueless about what is flirting and what is not?
SO GOOD BYE FOR NOW, MY FRIENDS (if anyone is even reading)