Scary future

I am at a place in my life where I have to decide what I want to be. The deadline for that decision is coming so soon that I can feel it even and I still do not know what to sign up for.

It is so scary having to decide your future through just one thing. It is so scary having to decide it while you are not even 18. It is so scary to decide what will you do for the rest of your life.

For the longest time I have known I want to be a forensic anthropologist and that I wanted to study for that abroad in UK. But I crossed UK as a country of my future education at some point of last year. I am not 100% sure why. It is probably a mix of things. A mix of feeling unwanted and unimportant due to the new law they brought, finding and building relationships I cannot bear to break with the distance, finding happiness in the form I never thought I could. Life happened and I moved on. I still want the same job but to get it here is a different story, so I began with a blank slate keeping my dream somewhere close where I can always reach for it.

I have grown, I know that. I have learned so much this past year and I am happy where I am at. And now my next move is what? Something that is going to keep making me happy and that is going to allow me keeping the things and people, I cherish the most in my life, by my side.

So what is exactly that move, you are asking me? Well, you’ll find out as soon as I do.
I am optimistic and hopeful, so I would like to pass that onto you, everyone who is reading this.

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Email: medicmagdalena@gmail.com

About the future

I have never been more scared about my future than now. I have never been more scared to make that drastic change which can only end in two directions. I was either about to succeed or crash and burned.

I always knew what kind of future I wanted, I had dreams of exact ways I wanted to accomplish what I want. But now it seems like those ways aren’t the ones I am willing to take.

I was never really afraid of the future and what it brings. Maybe because I didn’t have that much to lose as I do now, or I just realized what would loosing all of what I have meant. I am happier at this point of my life than I have ever been before. Even through the bad and worst days. If growing up means starting to fully value your family, friends, health and your partner I have to say that I think I get what it means to grow up.

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Social media:
Tumblr: girlonfire-youtube-lover
Instagram: @smalltownblogger_m
Email: medicmagdalena@gmail.com

Word flow

Do you ever have an urge to write something and you have no idea what to write about. I have that feeling right now so I am just going to keep on writing like I know what I’m doing.

I am staring to long at this flickering line that waits for me to put a letter on this blank virtual paper, so acknowledging that fact seemed like a good idea at the begging of this sentence, now not so much but I will keep going. Yeah, I forgot to mention is 2 AM and I am working early, but who cares, right? Right now I am deciding on which path to take this post, serious one or sarcastic but I guess I will find out that in the end. Also right now in my life I am in period of finding and creating myself as a person and one more important thing accepting some things I was so afraid of. Do you want to know what difference accepting those things made in my life? Oh, too bad, you are going to find out any way. I am happier with myself and more comfortable than ever. I feel freer, lighter and I feel more hopeful which is something I never thought I would say.
But in another, darker, note I am afraid that with winter my feelings from last year will come back and I am definitely not ready for another period of suicidal, hopeless, empty life full of guilt for acting I am ok that I once knew as depression.
Forget about that, if you can, and let us talk about what does the future for this blog look like. At this point only thing I know for sure is that you are going to get an amazing and huge photography post from my travels in October. And also I signed up for the September’s Writing 101 course so that should also bring out some interesting posts. I have a few ideas in my head right now which need to be prioritized and presented to you probably at the second part of September.

Wow, what happened to this post? Words and thoughts flowing from all around my brain. I guess I should go before I admit to you my deepest, darkest secrets. I am afraid of the dark and birds. I am p… Noup, it already too late!

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SO GOOD BYE FOR NOW, MY FRIENDS (if anyone is even reading)

Update

Today’s post is just going to be a little update
about future posts on this blog.


Last Sunday I haven’t posted a Sunday review because I didn’t have anything prepared and because I didn’t have enough time to do it from scratch. That is a second time I missed a Sunday review, and that got me thinking.

For a while I had two posts coming out a week, a random one at Tuesdays and a review at Sundays. This last few weeks I felt like I drained all my inspiration and lost interest in blogging, so I decided that Sunday reviews are not going to go out every Sunday. They will probably go out every another Sunday because I think that way I could have more time to prepare them and therefore the content would be better. I am going to keep random Tuesday post, so you will get at least one post a week. That would be all for now. Thanks to everyone who has been reading my blog for some time and to anyone who has just joined.


SO GOOD BYE FOR NOW, MY FRIENDS (if anyone is even reading)