Big city girl

Yes, now I am officially a small town blogger living in a big city (my new instagram bio if you haven’t caught that yet @smalltownblogger ). I always thought this would be a great change in my life, everything will be different but I have found myself in the same routine however lacking a few important people, their physical presence at least. This is the first post I am writing after the big move and I still didn’t become one of those people sitting in a coffee shop working on their laptop but it seems I soon will because my dorm internet isn’t the fastest. On the topic of my dorm I don’t have a clue should I post something on that note and if you would find it helpful since school year has already started. We will see how writing this blog will progress whilst I am here, so no promises for now.

I still need to get used to some parts of this new lifestyle but all of this wasn’t as a shock for my organism as I thought it would be, maybe because I was preparing myself for months. Of course it has just been a couple of days, a lot can change in a week and even more in a month. I have a lot more time for myself and a lot more time to think, which can be both bad and good. But what I love here is that fall is already in its’ full power and I absolutely love fall as people who have been with this blog for a while already know. So excited for wearing boots and jumpers this year since that is going to be pretty much all I will be wearing.

Meeting new people isn’t that fun because I always feel very awkward during the introducing and generally talking to someone I don’t know that well at all, however I am managing it somehow. The acute loneliness and homesickness hasn’t yet started and I think that is because my brain hasn’t really processed fully how I am not going to see some people for months,  but I do feel it hiding somewhere in the corner waiting to hit me with its’ full strength. It is very curious how long my posts are here because I am pretty much treating this post as a journal entry but who cares, right? 😀  I guess this is kind of an update post that you might not find that interesting because it is all about me and my life, but I will definitely post different posts soon. Actually I already prepared a post on my 2 day vacation in Split with my boyfriend. Since I do have a lot of free time this week it will probably come out shortly after this one if I don’t sprung upon major internet issues.

Well, that will be all for this post. If you want to closely follow my student lifestyle be sure to follow my blog instagram where I am daily active. It is listed down below and if you are on the desktop version also on the right. Thank you for reading, I hope I will see you in my next post!

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Instagram: @smalltownblogger 
Email: medicmagdalena@gmail.com

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Let’s have a chat about being selfish

Maybe you read this tittle and thought to yourself what the hell is she talking about. Or maybe a single thought hasn’t popped up in your mind, but either way you are reading my newest post in which I am mostly going to talk about myself and some changes I have been facing last few months. It really is weird seeing yourself change as it happens right in front of your eyes.

If you knew me you would know that I am always trying to help others and most of the time at my own expense. I like helping, don’t get me wrong but it takes so much energy from me that it makes sense why I am a hard introvert that needs to charge batteries by spending some quality time alone. Also, there are so many people who take advantage on me being myself and just let me do all of their work for them because they know I will. For past month or so, I started to see myself the toll this way of living put on me and slowly I began tearing from inside without anyone else noticing. What really got me was that the people closest to me didn’t notice my suggestive cry for help because they were so into their own problems which made mine invisible.

At that point I realized I had too many toxic relations with people who always seem to run short when it comes to me but I always put them before me. For my own good and for theirs I started a painful process of removing all of the toxicity and finally after so many years of my life I began walking a new path. A path led by healthy selfishness, I began pushing myself to put myself on a higher priority list if I cannot put myself first. After a short period of time I felt the difference this made in my life. I felt healthier, happier and more relaxed just by spending more time incorporating helping myself into my own life.

I don’t know if anyone will relate to this, but I never really wrote posts to be relatable did I? I wrote this to leave a piece of my soul here and to hopefully make people think or help them, so I sincerely hope you enjoyed this quick read I presented you today.

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Social media:
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Instagram: @smalltownblogger 
Email: medicmagdalena@gmail.com

 

I’ve got some explaining to do…

It has been 2 months since my last post, I don’t think it has ever been that long without a post since I started this blog and I just got a message that today is the 3rd anniversary of me creating it. Well, I really do have some explaining to do but I am not going to go into great details.

I feel like no matter how long have you been with me or with my blog I owe an explanation, even though I do not really think anyone really cares. Past 2 months have really been full with so much stress and loosing and finding my spirit on and on. I cannot explain things without context and I cannot give context because it is about my personal life (a bit too personal). Now let’s talk about stuff I can talk about.

First stressor I have encountered was me trying to enroll into a college. It really was a rocky road, but now when I look back at it there was no place for panicking or even being stressed about but stress is in my blood. Since I decided to stay in Croatia to continue my education I had no idea what to go for because I thought there was no way I could do what I wanted here. But as it turns out I can, and even though I wasn’t really happy with the college I got in at first now I know it is actually just the thing I wanted for as long as I can remember. This fall I am an official student of anthropology and Italian studies.

Other news, my work is both stressful and stress relieving in a way.  I also kind of lost an important person in my life, maybe lost isn’t a good description of the situation but will go with it. The good thing is that I am trying to get out of it all stronger. I am learning to put myself first or at least on a bit more important place than I am now. I am hopelessly trying to save myself and it might look like I am running away from everything I am dealing with the devil in me the best way I know and I can. This whole situation left me more anxious than ever and I am having, again, at least one panic attack a week and my head is so messed up that I cannot even decide what to eat and especially write something worth reading.

That is all I have to say right now. I have no idea when the next post will be but I will think about doing some photography posts to start up again. Goodbye, I’ll hopefully see you in my next post!

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Social media:
Tumblr: girlonfire-youtube-lover
Instagram: @smalltownblogger 
Email: medicmagdalena@gmail.com

 

Update

Today’s post is just going to be a little update
about future posts on this blog.


Last Sunday I haven’t posted a Sunday review because I didn’t have anything prepared and because I didn’t have enough time to do it from scratch. That is a second time I missed a Sunday review, and that got me thinking.

For a while I had two posts coming out a week, a random one at Tuesdays and a review at Sundays. This last few weeks I felt like I drained all my inspiration and lost interest in blogging, so I decided that Sunday reviews are not going to go out every Sunday. They will probably go out every another Sunday because I think that way I could have more time to prepare them and therefore the content would be better. I am going to keep random Tuesday post, so you will get at least one post a week. That would be all for now. Thanks to everyone who has been reading my blog for some time and to anyone who has just joined.


SO GOOD BYE FOR NOW, MY FRIENDS (if anyone is even reading)