Let’s have a chat about being selfish

Maybe you read this tittle and thought to yourself what the hell is she talking about. Or maybe a single thought hasn’t popped up in your mind, but either way you are reading my newest post in which I am mostly going to talk about myself and some changes I have been facing last few months. It really is weird seeing yourself change as it happens right in front of your eyes.

If you knew me you would know that I am always trying to help others and most of the time at my own expense. I like helping, don’t get me wrong but it takes so much energy from me that it makes sense why I am a hard introvert that needs to charge batteries by spending some quality time alone. Also, there are so many people who take advantage on me being myself and just let me do all of their work for them because they know I will. For past month or so, I started to see myself the toll this way of living put on me and slowly I began tearing from inside without anyone else noticing. What really got me was that the people closest to me didn’t notice my suggestive cry for help because they were so into their own problems which made mine invisible.

At that point I realized I had too many toxic relations with people who always seem to run short when it comes to me but I always put them before me. For my own good and for theirs I started a painful process of removing all of the toxicity and finally after so many years of my life I began walking a new path. A path led by healthy selfishness, I began pushing myself to put myself on a higher priority list if I cannot put myself first. After a short period of time I felt the difference this made in my life. I felt healthier, happier and more relaxed just by spending more time incorporating helping myself into my own life.

I don’t know if anyone will relate to this, but I never really wrote posts to be relatable did I? I wrote this to leave a piece of my soul here and to hopefully make people think or help them, so I sincerely hope you enjoyed this quick read I presented you today.

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I’ve got some explaining to do…

It has been 2 months since my last post, I don’t think it has ever been that long without a post since I started this blog and I just got a message that today is the 3rd anniversary of me creating it. Well, I really do have some explaining to do but I am not going to go into great details.

I feel like no matter how long have you been with me or with my blog I owe an explanation, even though I do not really think anyone really cares. Past 2 months have really been full with so much stress and loosing and finding my spirit on and on. I cannot explain things without context and I cannot give context because it is about my personal life (a bit too personal). Now let’s talk about stuff I can talk about.

First stressor I have encountered was me trying to enroll into a college. It really was a rocky road, but now when I look back at it there was no place for panicking or even being stressed about but stress is in my blood. Since I decided to stay in Croatia to continue my education I had no idea what to go for because I thought there was no way I could do what I wanted here. But as it turns out I can, and even though I wasn’t really happy with the college I got in at first now I know it is actually just the thing I wanted for as long as I can remember. This fall I am an official student of anthropology and Italian studies.

Other news, my work is both stressful and stress relieving in a way.  I also kind of lost an important person in my life, maybe lost isn’t a good description of the situation but will go with it. The good thing is that I am trying to get out of it all stronger. I am learning to put myself first or at least on a bit more important place than I am now. I am hopelessly trying to save myself and it might look like I am running away from everything I am dealing with the devil in me the best way I know and I can. This whole situation left me more anxious than ever and I am having, again, at least one panic attack a week and my head is so messed up that I cannot even decide what to eat and especially write something worth reading.

That is all I have to say right now. I have no idea when the next post will be but I will think about doing some photography posts to start up again. Goodbye, I’ll hopefully see you in my next post!

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Exam Anxiety – How to keep it down

I haven’t post a while, but I do have a good reason for that. I am currently in the stage of studying for my finals (and as of today I did half of my finals). That’s why I didn’t really have any new ideas or even time to do something on here, but I said to myself listen make the best of your situation. So I decided to write a post about how to keep down your anxiety during finals or any exam therefore. I hope this post will help you to deal with your anxiety the best you can.


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  • Breathe, breathe, breathe!

    I cannot stress how important it is to breathe in and out calmly. Not only it helps you stay calm it also prevents hyperventilating. If you are walking to the place you are taking your test do this for most of your walk, if not then before you start writing whatever is in front of you (before you take a look at tasks). It really helps you gather all those positive thoughts you have and push all negative voices hiding in your head.

  • Always wake up with 30 minutes to spare. 

    Take your time getting ready, do everything you have to do calmly like you have nowhere to go. Also you never know, a panic attack could happen and you cannot be late. It is a good time to have little extra time.

  • Prepare you clothes and bag the night before. 

    You should do this ahead because you are calm at this stage and have less chance to forget something you need. Besides you can prepare that favourite shirt you love that brings you luck and comfort, since that cannot be a bad thing to have.

  • Make a relaxing song playlist.
    This can also be good if you are walking to the place in combination with breathing exercises, but if you aren’t walking then you can listening to it whilst getting ready and doing your makeup. I find music very therapeutic in dealing with anxiety and stress, so much that when I had at least one panic attack a weak I couldn’t leave my house without headphones.

  • Stop and have a talk with yourself. 

    This can be done however you like, vocally our with your inner voice in your head. You can combine it with some other techniques or just literally sit down in your house before leaving and tell yourself you got this, you prepared for it and it is going to be alright. This way you also prevent that little mean voice in your head that is always saying how incompetent you are.

  • Don’t skip breakfast and a glass of water.
    It doesn’t take a genius to tell that hunger plus dehydration plus anxiety equals catastrophe. So please take good care of yourself and eat at least a chocolate bar to give you some energy to fight off the stress.

  • Try not to go to bed too late.
    I know a lot of people pull all nighters before exams and that could work for some people, but I do not recommend that to someone who has anxiety. It is hard enough, but with sleep deprivation it is even harder to stay calm. Try to get a few hours of sleep and maybe a nice, quick shower in the morning. It really works wonders.

That would be all I have to say folks. These things keep my anxiety down and help me to concentrate and give my best. If you have some of your tips please do write them down, so I and others can read them! Thank you for your attention once again.

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Movies I want to see

So, since I want to make the most of my last summer after high school and before college, I decided to make a list of movies I want to see this summer.We made it!.jpg

The list is going to include some new movies and some old ones. Of course it can always be widen by new movies ( whether some new movies come out or by your suggestions, so be welcome to note some of your favourite movies in the comments ). This list is probably going to be unrealistically big considering the amount of free time at my hand, but I will still try to check as many of these movies as I can. Because it is now or never!

Without further ado here comes the list:

  • Baywatch
  • Suicide Squad
  • Dirty Grandpa
  • Autopsy of Jane Doe
  • Pirates of Caribbean: Salazars Revenge
  • Everything, Everything
  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
  • The Fallen
  • La La Land
  • Moonlight
  • 10 Things I Hate About You
  • It’s Kind Of a Funny Story
  • Her
  • The Host
  • Split
  • Personal Shopper
  • The Spectacular Now
  • Gone Girl
  • The Danish Girl
  • 17 Again
  • Juno
  • Warm Bodies
  • Life of Pi
  • The Help
  • Black Swan

 

Thank you for reading.

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Social equality?

A society that treats everyone the same, as equals. Is that just a utopia or a real possibility that could happen in the future of human kind?

I think everyone can agree that we live in a cruel world where justice rarely happens. Our world is homophobic and racist, women are treated as less and paid less than men. Now, especially considering recent events with terrorist attacks, a question has risen in our minds. What is necessary for an equal society?
Pessimistic views on this question are common, so there are a lot of people who do not believe in a possibility of a better world. The idea of something so ideal and perfect is too hard to comprehend to some, resulting in people not even trying to change anything that is wrong with this world. Also, a lot of people who watched someone being treated unfairly or even put down for an unjust reason, have lost their belief in all humanity and in all good that this world has to offer. Some also do not want to fight for the better world because they think nothing is going to change because nothing has changed for centuries, which is a dangerously wrong opinion.

On the other hand ones that do believe in such a possibility try to change the world everyday. People like this have seen how revolutions, rebellions and protest have changed the world through history, from racial segregation in South Africa and USA, to women rights in UK, USA, France and all over Europe. They believe that if enough people stand up together for the same cause they will change history, they will make this world a better place.  That is why today there are a lot of protest like Black Lives Matter and LGBTQ+ parades all over the world. Not to forget the importance of celebrities that stand proud as feminists, LGBTQ+ members or supporters, who in that way send a message of peace and equality.

For the conclusion, there will always be people who fight for what they believe in, here for a better world. In the same way, there will always be people who do not fight for that since they do not believe in it. The important thing is that people who believe in such a possibility have changed and still are changing the world step by step.

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