New Year’s Resolutions – 2017

I have been sick for the past week, so unfortunately there wasn’t any sequels to the Christmas series which I am so upset about, but it is what it is. Next year I will write ahead!

Now, for today’s post I am continuing the tradition of writing my resolutions here on my blog as I did last year. If you are interested in seeing my last year resolutions and how man of them did I complete or kept up click here! 

And let’s begin with the new ones! (In the comments write your main resolution if you have one or even one that is similar to mine!)

 

  1. Travel somewhere new (stay overnight in a hotel). √
  2. Read more (10 non-obligatory books )
  3. Enroll in a good university this fall.
  4. Experiment with new clothing pieces.
  5. Write more off-blog.
  6. Bring back reviews.
  7. Do something spontaneously.
  8. Love yourself.
  9. Bring more colour to your wardrobe and life in general.
  10. Get made an amazing dress for prom.√ (bought it but still…)
  11. Decorate your new apartment!√ (it’s a dorm room)
  12. Try to remember mostly the good things, and get over the bad ones.
  13. Do not overreact as much.
  14. Do some paid work for something you are passionate about.
  15. Maybe do a course (photography, drawing, creative writing, etc.)
  16. Try to write more on a weekly basis.
  17. Step up your instagram!
  18. Learn a new language.√ (kind of, I am actually trying to become fluent in italian)
  19. Learn something new about yourself.
  20. Love. Unconditionally.

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Scary future

I am at a place in my life where I have to decide what I want to be. The deadline for that decision is coming so soon that I can feel it even and I still do not know what to sign up for.

It is so scary having to decide your future through just one thing. It is so scary having to decide it while you are not even 18. It is so scary to decide what will you do for the rest of your life.

For the longest time I have known I want to be a forensic anthropologist and that I wanted to study for that abroad in UK. But I crossed UK as a country of my future education at some point of last year. I am not 100% sure why. It is probably a mix of things. A mix of feeling unwanted and unimportant due to the new law they brought, finding and building relationships I cannot bear to break with the distance, finding happiness in the form I never thought I could. Life happened and I moved on. I still want the same job but to get it here is a different story, so I began with a blank slate keeping my dream somewhere close where I can always reach for it.

I have grown, I know that. I have learned so much this past year and I am happy where I am at. And now my next move is what? Something that is going to keep making me happy and that is going to allow me keeping the things and people, I cherish the most in my life, by my side.

So what is exactly that move, you are asking me? Well, you’ll find out as soon as I do.
I am optimistic and hopeful, so I would like to pass that onto you, everyone who is reading this.

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About the future

I have never been more scared about my future than now. I have never been more scared to make that drastic change which can only end in two directions. I was either about to succeed or crash and burned.

I always knew what kind of future I wanted, I had dreams of exact ways I wanted to accomplish what I want. But now it seems like those ways aren’t the ones I am willing to take.

I was never really afraid of the future and what it brings. Maybe because I didn’t have that much to lose as I do now, or I just realized what would loosing all of what I have meant. I am happier at this point of my life than I have ever been before. Even through the bad and worst days. If growing up means starting to fully value your family, friends, health and your partner I have to say that I think I get what it means to grow up.

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About love and trust

If love is the ultimate way of living, real full living, then why do we have an instinct not to trust anyone. An instinct that says do not love unconditionally if it is not mutual or in the same amount. Why do we spend most of our lives running away from the idea of loving someone?

Yes, you will get hurt, that is a given. But love is so much more than that. Love is not just broken hearts, taking sacrifices and letting yourself fully trust and have that trust broken. With loving and letting go you are finding yourself, creating yourself and being honest to yourself. What if the answer of who you actually are lays in a future unsuccessful relationship or friendship? What if to answer who you are, you need to hurt a little, or in some cases a lot?

There is no greater gift than to give your trust and love to someone. And also, arguably, there is not greater risk. Playing poker with a bet that is your heart is not usually anyone’s idea of love, but realistically that kind of is a good metaphor for love. We can win it all, we can fold or lose it all, everything depends on the amount of luck we have and also, maybe even more important, the people we play with. People we play with (or against, however you see it) can be risking it all just as we are, but sometimes they are bluffing.

So I guess my question for you is are you willing to play?

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Memory

Memories.
Something we cannot live without.
Yet we often forget the ones that mean the most.

Where do they go?
Is it inevitable to be left with just those bad ones,
Or those whose significance is almost none existing.

Or does our constant memory loss help us?
Maybe that is why I can remember,
Remember the scent of dandruff on grey hair.

Maybe that is why I know,
Know the aroma of my lover’s sweet touch
And my mother’s warm embrace.

Memories.
They serve us more than we know.
They hold so much pain and love.
They are the purpose of living.

In response to Memory!

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